desiree.marrion@kpchr.org

Not too long ago I heard something that really set my mind to thinking. Someone said, “You know, Peter walked back to the boat with Jesus.” Folks, Peter didn’t swim, he didn’t crawl, and Jesus didn’t carry him—he walked back to that boat.

Can you imagine? Think about it. How terrified would you and I have been seeing the wind and the waves and what you thought was a ghost walking on the water toward you? To even begin to have the courage to get out of the boat would have been more than I could have mustered. I probably would have run back to that boat, not just walked. Peter saw the Lord Jesus walking on the water and decided he wanted to try it too. Then, in spite of his fear and apparent failure by sinking in the water, he had the courage to take Jesus’ hand and walk back to the boat.

Remember the leper in Luke 17? Jesus healed a group of them, but only one walked back. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked Him. That took not only the courage to overcome the fear of what others might think, it took a willingness to act. Willingness to walk back in front of all of the others who had turned their backs and were joyfully moving on down the road. It must have taken that absolute conviction that this was the right thing to do—to walk back and worship Him.

The prodigal son walked back to his father. He headed out on the road on his finest steed and returned on foot. Imagine telling Dad you know it all, you want your money, and you are going to make it on your own. You party hearty and have lots of friends. Then suddenly, you are evicted from your plush apartment, none of your “friends” will open their doors to you, and you don’t even have a dollar to go to McDonalds and order from the dollar menu. So you walk back home.

So often we walk down a path in our lives believing it is the right one. The signs are all there, the door is open, and the opportunity seems perfect, right? Then we have to turn around and walk back because we got it all wrong. We must walk back in the face of criticism, the “I told you so’s,” and even worse, the broken heart inside of us that mocks us and says, “You are such a dismal failure.” The crowd in the grandstands of our life are pointing their thumbs down and loudly sharing their disapproval, and we wholeheartedly agree with them.

Oh how we wish that Psalm 44:18 applied to us, “Our hearts had not turned back; our feet had not strayed from Your path.” But there we are, out there walking, forever or so it seems. Then Jesus lovingly takes our hand and walks with us all the way back to the boat. It seems to me that there could be nothing more unstable than walking on water, and yet He purposefully holds on to us and makes that water as solid as any asphalt so we can—without fear—return to the boat with Him.

God talks a lot about walking back or bringing back in the Bible. He repeatedly promises to bring His people back to their land, to return blessings to them, to restore to them all of that which was lost. Do you think He promises us any less? Do you look at your life and see all that you have lost? I do. The more birthdays that pass, the more I look at my life and see the tremendous losses of people, relationships, and things. Yet, there is nothing that I can do except reach up and take His hand as we start walking back.

We walk back to that place that He has always had in mind, the place of the first dreams, the location of the first hopes, the spot right where He planted all of those gifts and skills and abilities in our hearts. He holds our hand and supports us as we walk with trembling legs and brokenness within our souls.

He restores some of our dreams, brings back to the forefront gifts He gave us, and blesses us with new or restored relationships. He never wants us to be ashamed of walking back to Him and indeed, He extends the invitation to all of us, “Are you tired? Worn out? Come to me. Get away with me and you will recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me, work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me, and you’ll learn to live freely and rightly.” (Matt. 11 – The Message)

All of the things that we pile on our backs—the grief, the loss, the heartbreak, the poor choices, the downright mistakes, the things we wish we had never done or could somehow take back—the terrible load that causes us to stagger and stumble under it’s enormous weight will be lifted. He lovingly assures us of this, and then says He will teach us the “unforced rhythms of grace.” He tells us, “Watch how I do it.” What better example could there be? I love “watching” how He does things in my life. I love trusting that He won’t “lay anything heavy or ill-fitting” on me.

When He has hold of my hand, I am reassured by His strength. When He shows me how, I know I simply have to follow directions to assure success. And you know, I don’t feel ashamed at all to walk back with Him, right to where I am supposed to be.

Copyright 2003 by Desiree Marrion